to tell the truth, i actually forgot entirely about my blog for awhile..why, i hear you ask? is it because you've got tons of assignments to do jing? is it because you've got a new blog? is it because you don't like putting pen to paper (hypothetically) your thoughts and feelings? no. no and ye...no. it's just that. i KNOW! like how the heck do i forget something this much a part of me. to clarify, i don't really love THIS blog, so much as i like putting pen to paper everything. i think, i need to get over myself. really, i am too much into myself. MY problems. what I want. MY. I. seriously, thank god i have understanding people around me, for not kicking my a**. heaven knows i needed it. so i need to get over myself, i need to care about other things.
on a totally unrelated note, i need to vent as well. so here goes. you all know i have a, how shall i put this delicately...a lousy car. really if you want to see pics, leave a msg and i will mail them to you. anyways, i am a great supporter of proton, i believe in their R3 ethos, and besides they are the cheapest car maker in Malaysia, not to mention the only. anyways, so i've been looking at the Neo CPS for a few months now, and they launched it late Feb. obviously i was excited, and it turned out to look damn good.
specs look good too. 125 bhp at 6500 rpm and 150 nm at 4500 rpm. which is good, in case you are wondering. a little bit of tuning, it'll hit 100 bhp per litre easily. kick ass handling, good looks, good specs for RM57k, which i think is a pretty good bargain, but i've never had a proper job before, i would not know. so what am i ranting for? well, without sounding like a brat, i did not get it. i know, my parents don't owe me anything, but i would have been nice. that's not what i am ranting about. those who know me, you'd know i love my parents, i do all i can to lighten their burden, fetching, errands, banks, the works. when my bro asked my dad about it, know what he said?'what did Lionel do to deserve this'
. that. is. what. he. said. that hurt. really, really hurt. to the core. granted, i am not the best student, and maybe he said it in that context, nor the best son. i am more than my studies, a man is MORE, so much more than his work. did nothing to deserve this? so what the HELL have i done to deserve THIS? words can't describe it man. unless you've...nope..no words can describe this...
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on another more positive (or even sadder, depending) note, i finished watching One Tree Hill S6, the first half, in a night. wow. that's an achievement for me. haha. and then after hat i got hold of Grey's Anatomy, and yup you've guessed it. one night. lol. and this with my exams coming..grrr.. it's not that i love the drama so much. i think for me, personally, i, sometimes wish i was living in another life i suppose, like, maybe it's easier to watch and listen to people chasing THEIR dreams, living their life to the fullest. i guess, that's the part i like...and music, oh man..the music, especially in oth, it's amazing. music giving a person hope, a reason to live another day, making sense of the world through it when you can't do it any other way. that's amazing.
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my thoughts are all over man now...
you don't notice how:
your smile lights up the room for me
you have the cuttest laugh
you are so beautiful
you are so down to earth
much you understand me, even when i don't
you puff out your mouth when in thought
the choice of your colour hurts
i want to give you everything, all of everything
you don't..no you don't. but i do.
-jing-
Jimmy Eat World - Kill
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